Vow writing

How to write your own vows?

Many of my celebrants choose to write their own vows. I actually encourage it! It is a lovely way to demonstrate the love and commitment you share. The vows do not need to be lengthy; keep them short, sweet and speak from the heart. I am often asked, “How do we start?” 
Well, I’ve put together a quick guide that’s guaranteed to make your vow writing easy!

• Don’t over think it!

Speak from the heart. You love the way he looks at you when he says I love you, mention it. She has a special way of easing your mind in crisis situations, mention it. You enjoy goofing around and being relaxed on the weekends, mention it. These vows are meant to be a reflection your relationship and what you love so much about your partner. That’s it. Please keep in mind the word vow means solemn promise so maybe consider using the words, “I promise to…”

• Simple and sweet

I recommend 200 words or less. Like many of us, when we talk about the person we love, we could go on and on; this isn’t a bad thing. But for simplicity and time sake I recommend keeping your vows under 200 words. This will force you to highlight the best parts and the reason you decided to get married in the first place. Write them down. No one expects you to remember them. If a word limit isn’t your style put a time limit on it, I suggest 1-2 minutes max.

• Don’t overshare

I’m sure that “one time” while on vacation stories are funny and insightful but do you really need to rehash it on your wedding day, in front of your family, standing at the altar? Probably not. It’s important to remember those funny little moments during the writing process, but your Aunt Sue doesn’t need to know about “that one time at band camp.” Feel free to share a quote or a song lyric that speaks from the heart or has meaning to you both.

• Practice makes perfect

Anytime you are doing public speaking it is important to read aloud the content you are sharing at least three times. This will help you to keep the sincere sound you desire and also keep you from stumbling over your words. Sometimes when we read words aloud we bring awareness to potential need for edits that make the content flow more fluently. Remember to pause, look up and breathe. In the moment you will be nervous but if you have practiced in the mirror a few times it will help you to focus on the words and your spouse.
 
In closing, theknot.com has provided an excellent list of questions to consider when you are starting this process. I have listed them here for your convenience:

1. Why did you decide to get married?
2. What hard times have you gone through together?
3. What have you supported each other through?
4. What challenges do you envision in your future?
5. What do you want to accomplish together?
6. What makes your relationship tick?
7. What did you think when you first saw your fiancé?
8. When did you realize you were in love?
9. What do you most respect about your partner?
10. How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate?
11. What about them inspires you?
12. What do you miss most about them when you're apart?
13. What qualities do you most admire in one another?